What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What caused the Democratic Party's 2024 presidential campaign to implode so horrifically?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What are some tips for balancing chores, work, and family life as an adult with children?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do so many people like life?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

TEXT:

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

If you were a writer for HBO, how would you rewrite the final season of Game of Thrones?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse that most people miss?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Do any other guys like to eat cum of another man from their wife's pussy?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What could be the result if I block a covert narc back after he said blocks were going back up, maybe we try this again?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What is the best phrase that sums up Tim Burton's Netflix Wednesday series cast? What is your unedited opinion about it?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.